The happy blog

I love this blog by Jen Lemen ! She said ''I have lived in serious community with various neighbors and friends for most of my adult life. This includes sharing meals, taking money off your dresser when I’m broke (sorry Ray) and generally spending 80% of our waking non-working hours doing life together. While some people would find this stifling, this has been a great source of joy for me and my family. I only realized recently that this was something I try to create and not something that happens by magic (though I’m sure some magic sure does help).''

I wish I could live like that and love and trust the way she does. I wish I could embrace life and live it and not be bogged down by stifling rules and protocol, and lack of freedom and caring. Believing that if you give an inch people will take a mile! maybe they would and maybe they do, but is it worth the risk and worth taking the chance? What would jesus do in my community? How would He live - I wish i knew! He would not preserve Himself to the point of selfish living - what is the point?

stressful week!

One of the courses I conducted brings out quite a fair bit of personal deep emotions, and this one person came to have a personal heart to heart with me at tea time. We talked about relationships and some interesting points came out in the conversation as well as some interesting inner feelings or realisations and thoughts- in me ( I did not share these with the person then because it was not appropriate, but I will share them now with some of the aspects based on this conversation briefly summarised in this blog)

Firstly, no surprise, woman and men are different. We have different ways of approaching emotional issues and especially romance.

I know that within my close relationship I need some strong reassurance quite often about being special to the person, important, loved, cared for, and need to know that all is well, even though I am not really insecure.

It is these little nice things that keep me happy, and I am quite easy to please really, appreciating little gestures, (caring sms's, maybe some warm e-mails, running my bath water etc) not expecting huge big or expensive things, and I really look forward to those little things very much.

Even my friendships - I do not ask for a lot, but I do need to know my friends care for me and about me, it is important to me. Those little things go a long way to keep me happy for ages, like a teaspoon of petrol in a mini!

Men show their romantic sides a little differently, and I have learned to see their ways with new eyes, and appreciate that it is not going to be roses or chocolates always, if ever, but its often those little things - like for example, making sure you get to your car ok and that you are safe before they leave you, or helping you carry something heavy, or many other small things they do which makes us ladies feel loved and cared for. Those things are special, and show they care.

The part I don't enjoy really or understand fully about men, and the part that seems to bother quite few of us ladies, and the person who spoke to me on Thursday, is the cold 'out of sight out of mind' 'attitude' that men can adopt so easily, leaving a huge gap but then they still expect a warm loving response to them on their return.

It does not have the effect of making the heart grow fonder, or make you more valued as 'hard to get'- it makes a sad partner who misses you and wants some quality contact, and gets her to begin feeling why should she bother at all.

I am no advice expert, but this got me thinking, and I want to ask the question - "men, don't hide behind the excuse of being just a dof guy, why do you do this when its so easy to change this 'attitude' and has a lovely huge reward for a very small effort?" don't be afraid to show you care, and don't be afraid to love! Life is too short for those games you know!

Anyway, maybe I am generalising too much, but it does seem to be the rule rather than the exception in my experiences?