The African Bush and beasties

Hello there!

We often go into the bush. Its normally a bush camp or a game reserve, with nothing for miles except fields of African grass, and indigenous trees and bushes. The grassland always takes my breath away with the sun catching the rich lustre of the golden colours, waving and swaying with the breeze.

If you sweep your eyes over the fields you will be treated to a glorious mix of colours, with pinks and greys, greens and yellows all blending in to make the colours of Africa. I love it. I drink it all in and want to lock the experience forever into my mind. There are many trees which stand as evidence of a fire which has ravaged the land not long before this day, and although the bush recovers fast, the stark grey branches rise up grotesque and yet beautiful.

There is a monkey sitting on the fence next to the dirt road. He is idly watching us with unconcerned interest, and his family are close by, all scampering up the trees as our vehicle passes.

I love to walk for ages through the bushveld, and then I get to smell the dust mixed with the freshness of nature. Some rain fell lightly on my head and shoulders as I walked, it was not the crashing loud alarming storms that so often lash across the sky and thunder down upon the earth as a deluge of rain pours down. Then the smells change to that lovely new rain wet earth smell you can only expereince in Africa. I wish I could describe all these sensations which meet my senses.

The high fences remind us though that this land is owned, chopped up into private property, and out of bounds for most of us.

Africa....I love it...

Keziah

If I stop to think about little Kez, I cannot help but smile as I see in my mind's eye a skinny, scraggly little blonde curly haired girl bursting with life and energy, and a huge smile spread across her face. She races up and down the road on a push-scooter with handles and calls "Aunty Shirley look what I can do! " I have been called to my gate from time to time to collect a shrivelled wild flower lovingly picked from the pavement and scrunched up between little fingers. "This is for you Aunty Shirley".

Oh Kez, you bring joy and laughter into our street, and your brother Miguel always so protective. We need you back in full health little angel. I am going to help where and if I can. So get well Kez, and make it soon, ok!

Ice cracker!

I have not blogged for so long it is frightening! I guess my silence is due to a number of reasons like motivation, that awful busyness we get into into and a lack of inspiration. Now there is so much to say, I hardly know where to begin, so Ill take this a step at a time and ease myself slowly back into this blogging thing again. Ill start with a neutral event first, the latest Landrover trial.

Just outside Pretoria is a camping and 4x4 place called Diggers Hole. It had been raining a lot over the last few weeks just before the trial there, which made the area lovely to look at - green and lush, and dust free. we arrived on the Friday after work, and set up camp. The bird-life was fantastic, and I spotted a Kingfisher, a few Barbets, and a few Bee-eaters, such lovely birds to spot.

On the saturday morning, Kev was giving the driving training class to a group of landrover Owner club members, some of them new to the club, and then later took them to the trial and training area for some practical training.

Sunday was the trial, it was well attended, and I helped to keep Kev company at his post - gate number 53, which involved a short drive through some muddy water, touch a pole in the middle of the mud with the front of your vehicle and then reverse out again! not as easy as it sounds when the mud is thick and clayey! Only two vehicles managed to do this without assistance. There were some incredibly scary and challenging obstacles to on the course, and the new Defenders and Discos breezed them with ease.

When everyone was packing up and the trial was ended, prizes given, and dust settled, Mike decided he wanted to go and do some of the obstacles for fun in his Isuzu 4x4 bakkie. We went too in our Series 11a, and another friend Martin, went in his fancy Discovery. I drove the series landy! I did a daunting uphilll axle twister, a steep down hill donga, a series of twists and turns and LOVED it. I was drenched with perspiration from adrenalin, fear and effort!

Martin mentioned that he would like to experience driving the Series IIone day and so as there is no time like the present, I suggested he drive right then. Mike invited me into his Isuzu to experience the ride, and we had FUN! with a capital F!! Mike attempted a SERIOUS uphill with lots of muddy water! Wow, with Mike's incredible driving skill and the diff locks in place, the Isuzu breezed it!

I could not believe it when Kev did the same in the Series vehicle. (Martin chickened out at that point and did not attempt to take the series himself so gave it back to Kev until after that obstacle. ) Martin gained new respect for me after he drove our Landy - it is not for sissies!

broken the silence....

Have i broken the silence? Was it against some unwritten law? Did I invade a personal space not meant for me? have i broken the silence? that sacred silence.....never meant to be broken, no right to invade that deathly silence! shhhh...I need to think! Get out of my life - out now, stay away! stay out of my silence please you are making a noise, you are invading my private bubble! friends...?? oh yes now i remember, we said we would be friends... how can we be friends after such as this? Never, it will never be, so get out, stay out, keep away. You. You, broke the silence. Stay away!

The happy blog

I love this blog by Jen Lemen ! She said ''I have lived in serious community with various neighbors and friends for most of my adult life. This includes sharing meals, taking money off your dresser when I’m broke (sorry Ray) and generally spending 80% of our waking non-working hours doing life together. While some people would find this stifling, this has been a great source of joy for me and my family. I only realized recently that this was something I try to create and not something that happens by magic (though I’m sure some magic sure does help).''

I wish I could live like that and love and trust the way she does. I wish I could embrace life and live it and not be bogged down by stifling rules and protocol, and lack of freedom and caring. Believing that if you give an inch people will take a mile! maybe they would and maybe they do, but is it worth the risk and worth taking the chance? What would jesus do in my community? How would He live - I wish i knew! He would not preserve Himself to the point of selfish living - what is the point?

stressful week!

One of the courses I conducted brings out quite a fair bit of personal deep emotions, and this one person came to have a personal heart to heart with me at tea time. We talked about relationships and some interesting points came out in the conversation as well as some interesting inner feelings or realisations and thoughts- in me ( I did not share these with the person then because it was not appropriate, but I will share them now with some of the aspects based on this conversation briefly summarised in this blog)

Firstly, no surprise, woman and men are different. We have different ways of approaching emotional issues and especially romance.

I know that within my close relationship I need some strong reassurance quite often about being special to the person, important, loved, cared for, and need to know that all is well, even though I am not really insecure.

It is these little nice things that keep me happy, and I am quite easy to please really, appreciating little gestures, (caring sms's, maybe some warm e-mails, running my bath water etc) not expecting huge big or expensive things, and I really look forward to those little things very much.

Even my friendships - I do not ask for a lot, but I do need to know my friends care for me and about me, it is important to me. Those little things go a long way to keep me happy for ages, like a teaspoon of petrol in a mini!

Men show their romantic sides a little differently, and I have learned to see their ways with new eyes, and appreciate that it is not going to be roses or chocolates always, if ever, but its often those little things - like for example, making sure you get to your car ok and that you are safe before they leave you, or helping you carry something heavy, or many other small things they do which makes us ladies feel loved and cared for. Those things are special, and show they care.

The part I don't enjoy really or understand fully about men, and the part that seems to bother quite few of us ladies, and the person who spoke to me on Thursday, is the cold 'out of sight out of mind' 'attitude' that men can adopt so easily, leaving a huge gap but then they still expect a warm loving response to them on their return.

It does not have the effect of making the heart grow fonder, or make you more valued as 'hard to get'- it makes a sad partner who misses you and wants some quality contact, and gets her to begin feeling why should she bother at all.

I am no advice expert, but this got me thinking, and I want to ask the question - "men, don't hide behind the excuse of being just a dof guy, why do you do this when its so easy to change this 'attitude' and has a lovely huge reward for a very small effort?" don't be afraid to show you care, and don't be afraid to love! Life is too short for those games you know!

Anyway, maybe I am generalising too much, but it does seem to be the rule rather than the exception in my experiences?

Life's opportunities and challenges!

Hi everyone!

I have not had a chance to blog for ages, so I decided this morning that in spite of work pressures I felt like blogging! I don't even know if anyone reads them actually, not that it matters I suppose, but if you do, will you leave a comment or two so that I know? I think I blog more for my good really, than for anyone else to read!

I have had an extremely challenging year from many angles, and I thought it would be nice to explore them a bit and see how I have fared. I have literally built bridges, travelled to adventurous places, steered my career to new levels, coped with incredible emotional ups and many downs, had killer work pressures and deadlines to meet, had fun and some special romance, passed some crucial exams and so much more. There is NEVER a dull moment in my life.

Firstly, family wise: my children all moved out at various times over the last two years, and I had to adjust to the vast emptiness that leaves behind with it. Not that I was sad that they are able to leave and go ahead with their own lives, it is more an adjustment to arranging suppers or times together with them and the challenge of keeping in touch as they forge their new lives, and get busy. We still love to do things together so it is great when we do get together. I would like to do it more often in the new year.

The other huge challenge for me was that Kevin's parents aged considerably virtually overnight and it has been very difficult balancing family commitments, running a home, career and meeting their endless needs compassionately. We are alone in this with no help from any other family members so it means we need to be on 24 hour standby, and drop everything if they need shopping, or doctors visits or medicine or if they fall or are ill or lonely and cook them meals etc. We do it with love, but it can wear you down to the bone, and is exhausting and back breaking to spend a great deal of the night up with an ailing parent and then to be ready for a full days work on your feet that same morning.

My career has been taking huge amounts of time as it just blossomed out this year. No money yet, sadly - we still live from month to month, but I am hoping to put some meat on the ribs this year coming. I have been laying the foundations and lots of amazing opportunities have presented themselves! But with these opportunities came LOADS and LOADS of work and stress because it was new and mostly unknown. I met deadlines that would make your hair curl, and achieved instant 'knowledge' of stuff i had never heard of the day before, and I had to learn everything from scratch and then be good enough at it to 'train' it the next day. Nearly everything had to be created from scratch. HOURS and hours of work. I didn't know I had it me! :)

Financially - we are hoping that with all kiddywinkles out of university, and working at last, we will be able to get on our feet a bit. It is always a struggle, but not any different to what we are used to. I just wish the amount of income = the amount of work!! that would be nice.

Kevin is as patient as he can be, and tries to understand. He always supports me fantastically but I think there were times when he felt the stresses and the neglect of family time that I had to forfeit often due to work load. He is more than wonderful with helping when it is needed.

I hope next year is still full of challenges, but I would like it to be a little easier, less busy and more money maybe? I want more family time and more fun definitely. I will drive the landy more. We'll see - as my one friend would say - que sera sera!

Upington!

I have just come back from a lovely walk along the banks of the Orange River, aka the Gariep Rivier. It is beautiful, a perfect oasis, winding through a desert landscape. A long necked water-bird swooped down right into the water and caught a fish almost as big as he was!

The early morning flight I was on gave a full picture of the vast expanse of the landscape around here, very harsh, dry, broken only by the huge winding river.

I am staying in a lovely place called Africa River lodge. Very comfortable. I still have some last minute preparations to do tonight, but tomorrow my training venue is less than 2 minutes away! What luxury. :)

hospital and tiny creatures!!

I am lying here with an excruciating headache. that's not an unusual symptom of tick bite fever. (tbf) Yes, can you believe it, I went for a walk with my daughter in our local park, and found tick firmly attached between my toes when i bathed that night. I kinda expected the TBF, but not the complications I got too which landed me in hospital.

You see to put it in non-medical terms: what i got was:

tbf + mental + physical exhaustion + too much emotional STRESS = happy holiday for nasty virus buggy things, which kick you when you're down - nice hey!? which = doctor sending you off to hospital = £$R = more stress!!

Anyways, here i am back at home with an excruciating headache! :)

They say:

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, but I choose to be from the Heavenly gang, and angels hath no fury!" - by me, in one of my contemplative moments

Building bridges on woman's day!

Watch this space! more details to follow


START....Finish....

Not sleeping at night!

Night time is for sleeping - that is what I have always said to people who tell me that they pace the floor or count sheep all night or lie awake for endless hours thinking things through! Well, guess what! I have joined the wakeful night society now too. It is subtle, and it is not every night, because sometimes I am so exhausted I fall asleep into a deep coma!

But lately I have been lying on my bed, eyes wide open for hours, just thinking. Churning thoughts and emotions over and over in my head. I feel as if I am churning up an ulcer! It is awful! Your body is tired, you want sleep so desperately and you crave a respite from the endless thoughts and unreasonable fears that then crop up - those irrational fears that only the dead of night can bring, and then the sunshine in the morning makes those very things you were afraid of seem silly.

Someone told me that our irrational fears are real and need to be treated as real, silly things like hating it if you are in a room and the door is closed or locked, (causing panic rising up in you) or like crying in front of people - (Panic that you feel your tears gives 'other' people the right to make decisions for you and takes away your control)- those kind of 'silly' fears! But I didn't get to ask what next, what do you do about them? How do you deal with them? Do you need to deal with them? I wonder? Who knows, anyone out there know?

I miss my peaceful sleep, miss the good night's rest, and I am starting to pay the price for it physically and emotionally a bit. Maybe I need a good decent long holiday! :)

Space space space.........

Boy, do i have space now! All the kiddy winkles have moved out, and although Kirk still has a load of stuff to fetch, we have a home that has loads of space! Life is completely the wrong way round, for example: we have space when we don't need it anymore, and money when its not as vital, and can afford a large car when a small one will do, and wisdom when its not valued, we have freedom when we're too old to enjoy it!! I think I want to grow up to be a kid!

I am enjoying myself - rearranging everything, finding a place for all the camping gear, making the flat nice - . the new tiles in the bathroom worked out so nicely! I will take a piccy or two once finished and post it here -> ....

I also learned that to love those people who we should care about, is the way life is meant to be, even if they are difficult, obnoxious, ungrateful or fussy. When you show love, and are kind and gentle, you feel good about yourself, and pass on love to the other soul! Not always easy, but always necessary. So, just love! :)

Headless chickens!!

I often dream about getting it all together one day. you know, eating well, sleeping for at least 8 hours, pacing the stress into bite sized chunks instead of huge helpings all the time, going regularly to the gym, drinking all those glasses of water we're supposed to, all that sort of thing. Lately i am not even getting one of those things right. Pace of work, too much on my plate, all these things driving me - no time to relax. My head knows this is not a good balance, I teach about balance, I should be an expert at it, but I cannot seem to get off the hamster wheel long enough to take a breath, and gain my composure.

I was thinking in the bath the other day that dead people no longer have a responsibility or have a care in the world. they do not have to get up early on cold winter mornings anymore, and they have no more of those stressful big decisions to make, about heaven or hell, or anything, but anyway, before I cause any panic about my doleful thoughts, let me reassure you that this is not a death wish, but more the thoughts of a humorous idea of the advantages of being dead - quite a few I could think of!! :) (it's my dad's fault, I think I inherited his dry sense of humour!!)_ its like the joke about the tick bird and the cow in the field - the tick bird is relishing some fat ticks and the cow says, "how can you eat those yukky things?" And the tick bird says, " Try one, you'll like it - just try it!" "you won't know if you like it until you've tried it!"

On that cheerful note, let me say I have come through another CHALLENGING week! What learning experiences I have had - growth and stretching, and working with great people!

A busy weekend!

We have had a really lovely outdoor weekend! Hardly been home and its been great!
yesterday was Nikita's birthday and she is now 8 years old! Maureen says she is now really growing up.

Today we did a 3 hour hike up a a very steep hill at the back of the botanical gardens, the weather was great and sunny, (except for a chilly wind that blew cold every now and again) and we actually got quite a bit sunburnt despite some sun block cream smeared all over. You can see for miles up there and we had fun. Kevin actually got us lost!!!! (this is unbelievable) we took quite a scenic adventurous detour.

When we eventually, after fighting our way through thick thorny ouchy brambles, got back down we grabbed our picnic basket, flask of tea, and blankets, sat near the stage on the lawn and listened to a live jazz band play some great stuff, and just simply relaxed.

My son moved out today to his own place - scary because he is the last child to leave home, and we shall miss him - but our children must move on in their lives and they must move out! We all helped with some of the moving and luckily being only one person he did not have a lot of stuff to carry up those stairs. His new place is lovely and he can make it very comfortable! I am not going to know what to do with all the space and all the quiet now!! As parents you know the time has to come for your children to leave but it is always a sad time and yet a happy time, and sometimes - ABOUT TIME!! :)

Shirley Loves Landy!

I love our landy. It is old, steers like an old dodgem car at Gold Reef City, brakes skew - pulls to the left, and is very slow at responding, but i love it!







I drove the truck again today, and managed to get there and back without any mishaps!! It is scary, but I am gaining confidence every time. Double de-clutching is still a major co-ord challenge for me, but I am getting there!

Last weekend we took it to De Wildt out at Ga-Rankuwa way, to a deserted place and drove it through the most amazing places - it was cooool fun. We got jammed against the embankment in one spot where the angle was quite challenging. Kevin hates angles, but we thought we could do this one and it landed up being worse than we thought and scraped the side quite tightly - no harm done though, minor scratch that's all.



It was surprisingly warm and we had a picnic on the top of tennis ball hill -a very loose rocky slippery climb to the top. I had to get out and move one offending rock! Super woman watch out for my muscles!!

One of my favourite photos taken by Kevin!

Hauntingly beautiful!
This photo was taken by Kevin at the lake near our home when it snowed the other morning.

freeeeezing weather!

Hi Everyone!

We had snow! Real snow. Kevin woke up and looked outside and then quickly came to call me out of my warm bed, to see the snow all over our garden. It was beautiful.

This is me - playing in the snow! Crystal clear morning with white, soft, fluffy snow- lovely! The world was transformed into a winter wonderland. i have never been that close to snow in all my life. We had some fun throwing snow balls at one another, but it was freezing in our hands.

My daughter Loren came to play too!








I loved the snow on the conifer fir trees in our garden, and the way the snow was cupped in the leaves of the shrub plants. It looked magical and so pretty, but as a friend of mine would say: 'the reality is' I don't think they will survive that amount of frost - i can see I will be gardening from scratch again!


Our back garden!

Jazz and the Rock 'n Roll Blues....

Wow! What a night! Steven, Chantal, Kevin and I were treated to some great music. Jazz and Blues share a similar history way back early 1917! This music is still great today. We went to our local theatre on Thursday evening and had a few hours of fantastic music. Louis Armstrong, BB king, some Jazz greats from New Orleans stuff.

What a combination of musical instruments - clarinet, cornet, trombone, bass, banjo, drums. The 6 men became one with their instruments - great stuff! So laid back, but the music was lively and we were dancing in our seats.

After interval we were given a wake up call when young, modern hippie looking, cute (a cute dimple on his one cheek) Dan Patlansky played the blues. I have never heard or seen anything quite like it. His bass guitarist - Errol Fellows, strolled onto stage, (What a character) shook hands with the pianist who was busy bashing out a a fantastic lively piece of music, at the shiny grand piano, took off his shoes, showing BRIGHT RED socks, and with his huge white beard,



white hat and dwarf like build, started playing in time with the piano piece - wow!


We were warned it would be loud, and it mostly was. Dan is able to do something magical with those electric guitars - 3 beautiful Fender Stratocasters, his tongue darts in and out comically in concentration, and his body and head contorts as if the guitar is attached to his bones. He is passionate and plays blues and rock n roll like he means it!

He swaps guitars, effortlessly. Goose bumps traveled all over my body when he played this song that he composed when he was on tour in new Orleans and Hurricane Katrina hit. I could picture the storms and the wind, the devastation and the pain - it was an ominous moody chaotic piece of music, beautifully matched, as he created the hurricane there on stage.

I could imagine his long curly hair blowing back from his face as his Fender Stratocaster squealed, screamed and screeched, in agonizing music, competing with the voracious winds and stormy seas. It was loud, moody, different tempestuous, a music feast. Dan is brilliant, and the audience knew it, but didn't seem to appreciate it- half-hearted applause! We, and a select few from the audience, loved it and cheered -yeah! loudly and whistled for more. At times the music was soft and tuneful, with a flick of his wrist on the knobs of the strattie, he spoke to us with expressions and shades of moody music. His singing was gruff and low, sexy, reminded me of someone-MK-(when he sings that hauntingly beautiful 'Brothers in Arms'); a touch of BBKing; a little like Louis Armstrong??


http://www.danpatlansky.co.za/

http://www.southernmusic.net/1910.htm
http://www.southernmusic.net/bbking.htm

"What Dan Patlansky can do with a six-string Fender Stratocaster at the age of twenty five, most critically acclaimed guitarists will never quite achieve in a lifetime" Jason Curtis

Up duck days, and down duck days!

I had a coffee mug once with a duck on the one side facing head up and waddling across the porcelain, and another duck on the other side with his head down .

I was going through a difficult patch in my life at the time, and warned my friends and family that if the mug was facing the up duck side on the shelf, I was fine, but if it had the down duck side facing, then watch out, don't come near me, I am really down.

But then I just had to laugh one day when I had it facing the down duck side, and my sister came to visit. She stared at the mug for a while and then she said, "you know, even though this duck's face is down, his bum is still pointing high up into the air!" - :)

Global warming and fashion shows.. I feel a blog coming on...

Hi

This morning has been incredible already and its very early in the morning still! Firstly, It is a stunning beautiful day, the sun is shining and it is a little chilly, but not demotivatingly cold, just jersey cool. It is a clear day, and the sky is spectacular, a vibrant lovely fresh shade of blue.

My two gorgeous dogs were really very friendly and loving this morning, and so full of energy and bounce. I will have to take them for a walk today, despite being quite busy with lots of work to do in preparation for a busy week next week.

My precious hubby brought me a fabulous cup of coffee, just the way I like it, with a piece of homemade marmalade toast, without me even asking, and read me some very funny jokes from his forum.

My daughter and I have decided that we do not know enough about current affairs, and so we realise that we need to become more aware, and know more about what is going in the world. (Kev even knew that there is a global warming summit happening somewhere... could be because it is winter here and everyone has a heater on!)

What started that was that we were talking about being self-aware, and we said that you cannot change your basic personality, but you can change your behaviours, and attitudes and approaches. We spent far too long on the phone talking about this, but discussing major important issues about things does take time. :)

We have so much still to learn - Miss South Africa , was quoted as an example: She is stunning on the outside, but also on the inside and is so confident and poised, and she radiates great real inner beauty. She is elegant, and gentle, and holds herself so upright with good posture.

Also, what about Ed Jordan? He was talking on 3-talk apparently and when it was his turn to discuss the Sun City event about art, international chefs, fashion and celebrities he was so articulate and spoke eloquently, he exudes confidence too. He used powerful words, like " You will be bombarded by an explosion of international cuisine from renowned chefs" Another guy on that same program did not really articulate himself so well, and the more effective person was Ed Jordan. Two more people came on to discuss about the fashion and one was smiling and friendly, and one was not.

So, what profound stuff have I learned today from my daughter?

1. Finish your sentences!
2. Be eloquent and project your voice
3. Confidence sets you apart!
4. Smile, it looks better
5. Stunning is 50% on the inside!
6. Who Ed Jordan and John Legend is.
7. You can try to fix a broken vase by gluing it together but it will never be the same again
8. In the words of Megan Coleman: 'Have a vision for your future. Be focused. Know who you are and where you are going. Vision is what gives us the motivation to achieve our goals.'

Some of which i knew already!! :) thanks my precious kid, it was a great conversation!!

Who could ask for more?

Love, Shirley